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Play head games. Helping a guy unwind can go a long way toward getting him in the mood, even if the relaxation begins hours before the sex does. It’s amazing how much stress a man can store above the neck alone, so try this: Rub your fingertips in little circles on his temples, around his eyes and along his jawbone. Don’t be surprised if he purrs; your handiwork will begin to melt away his tension — and could turn him into a tiger.

If you feel like really spoiling him, coax him into a warm bath and gently massage shampoo into his scalp and neck. While you run your fingers through his hair, grab a handful of it and pull gently. This kind of playful touch is not only soothing, it’s a good way to reconnect after a day apart. When my friends Jane and Art, 39-year-old computer programmers in Middletown, New Jersey, finally find time alone after putting their four kids to bed, she sometimes takes his head in her lap and pretends to crack an egg on it, gently tapping a loose fist against his head, then runs her fingers lightly down his face. “It gives him shivers, it’s fun for me and it sets a tone that this is playtime, with no agenda,” Jane says.

Go to extremes. As utilitarian as they may be, the hands and feet are also loaded with erotic potential. Just a few minutes of kneading and/or stroking your man’s extremities will make tension-busting waves radiate throughout his body. Starting with the palm of his hand or the sole of his foot, work your fingertips across it with a firm pressure, then massage his fingers or toes one by one. Regard his placid face as he blinks slowly and begins to turn to putty: This guy is at your mercy as you erase the pressures of the day and pull him into the moment.

Make him flip for you. Even the most in-control guy will gladly obey when you tell him, “Lie down, honey. It’s time for a massage.” As you straddle him in the superior position, all he has to do is receive your caresses, and that’s bound to usher in warm feelings of being cared for. “I love it when my wife massages me, because I don’t have to provide any energy to the process,” says Patrick, a 37-year-old Chicago human-resources consultant who often returns home exhausted from extensive business travel. Vary your strokes — light and superficial, strong and deep — on his back, shoulders and arms. Using the palms of your hands, your knuckles or your fingertips, seek out the knots in his muscles (key trouble spots are the upper and lower back as well as the thighs and the calves) and knead them gently but firmly. You may want to try some warm oil (baby oil works well) to enable a fluid stroke. “I started giving my husband massages after his pickup soccer games, solely with the idea of relieving his muscle pain,” says Jane. “But I soon found that what begins as a casual time of relaxation often turns into a passionate time of intimacy.”

Next Step: Turn up the Heat

Der Beitrag wurde am Sonntag, den 21. Mai 2006 um 10:45 Uhr veröffentlicht und wurde unter How to Touch a Naked Man abgelegt. Du kannst die Kommentare zu diesen Eintrag durch den RSS 2.0 Feed verfolgen. Du kannst einen Kommentar schreiben, oder einen Trackback auf deiner Seite einrichten.