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4. Perfect the stand-up kiss

What it is: A way to arouse him or restore his flagging erection during lovemaking

How to do it: This can arouse him when he thinks he’s not in the mood; it’s the most direct route to a state of heightened readiness. Holding his penis firmly in one hand, take it in your mouth, moving the head and the top third of the shaft in and out. When he becomes erect, use a variety of strokes, including these two:

The twist and swirl: Use one hand to do the circular twisting motion described in move No. 2 as you swirl your tongue around the corona (the ridge separating the shaft from the head), paying particular attention to the frenulum (the small piece of skin where the head meets the shaft).

The butterfly flick: Lightly flick your tongue back and forth across the delicate corona.

What couples say:
“Cathy used to lick like I was an ice-cream cone. Then one day she did this little swirling thing with her tongue around the rim, and it gave me a tremendous erection. That inspired her creativity.”
–Dennis, 39

“I love feeling that I can have him whenever I want simply by using my skills. Last night I surprised him: He came into the bedroom complaining of being tired and having a headache. I was naked. He was fully dressed. I unzipped his pants: He wasn’t tired and achy anymore. The sex was great.”
–Cathy, 38, his wife

“The combination of her hand and her tongue, both twisting and swirling, is intense and irresistible. I may be tired, but when she puts that special move on me, I become a man of steel.”
–Joe, 34

“Control is important. I do this move long enough to give him an erection with staying power, but without taking him into the zone where he’ll come too soon. I have to stop myself, because I really get into playing with him.”
–Meg, 31, his wife

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